NintenDON'T

**This rant has been brought to you by Xyle**

Nintendo's continued success with their new wave of casual crap just continues to astound and amuse me. Here we are, at the pinnacle of console gaming, with games that blur the line between video game and reality, and not only do people think about taking Nintendo seriously, but they actually PURCHASE their shit! Yeah, you heard me. THE WII SUCKS. Not only does it suck, but it's continued success is sending a negative message to game developers. Hey, not only can you spend less money by making a graphically inferior game, you can make MORE money by adding in some unnecessary motion sensor controls and slapping the label "CASUAL" on it! Oh my GOD. Are they serious? Do we REALLY want developers thinking that we actually WANT this "casual" bullshit?? Eventually what's going to happen is developers are going to start taking well-loved "hardcore" franchises and open them up to this "casual" gaming phenominon, and we're just going to see gaming as a whole suffer in the long run! Can you imagine a "CASUAL" Final Fantasy, or a "CASUAL" Legend of Zelda?! Fuck no! I refuse to buy in to this bullshit. I'm a GAMER. I play REAL GAMES. For longer than 10 minute intervals! I don't want shitty motion sensor controllers that have fucking LAG as you wave them all over the place, I want a motherfucking DualShock 3! Even MICROSOFT is going in more of a right direction than Nintendo, and they have a fucking 40% chance fail rate! No. No, I REFUSE to buy into the hype. I REFUSE to support Nintendo.

"Oh, but Nintendo is encouraging old-school gaming with the Virtual Console!" Umm, no? Emulation has been around for years, and last I checked, that's FREE. Not to mention, when you buy a game off the VC, you aren't actually purchasing. No, you're purchasing the right to an indefinite LEASE to play the game. Yeah, you heard that right: "Buying" games off the VC is basically the same as "RENTING" a game indefinitely for a small fee. And with emulators, you can use graphic filters and save states! Gee, it's so hard to pick which one I'd rather have! No, Nintendo's just milking another trend with their VC, much like they are with the Wii's main catalogue.

"Well the controller is revolutionary!" Oh, really? I thought it was about as revolutionary as the Power Glove, and we all saw how well THAT did. Who's idea was this piece of shit? Am I the only one who's noticed that all the best games on the Wii, are the ones that use the motion sensor controls to a MINIMUM?? Not to mention you look like a fucking ass waving it around all over the place! No thanks, I'll stick to REAL controllers and play REAL video games on REAL gaming consoles.

The Wii isn't a gaming console. It's a fucking TOY.