Smoking > Alcohol

**Remy would like to thank a few people for making this rant possible. First and foremost, the hot chick from Russia who is letting him use her laptop for this. Second, my cousin for giving me the money to purchase a DVD who inspired this rant. And lastly, Bill Hicks, whose comedy routine will be used in this rant.**

I'm tired of non-smokers coming up to me and coughing whenever I decide to smoke a cigarette. Honestly, are they some fucking sadists? Do they walk up to crippled people and dance too? That is just one question I'd like to know, that and what do atheists yell when they climax. (Oh fate and chance? Oh chemical reaction? Oh big bang?). Non-smokers walk around with a strut, like a self-righteous time bomb waiting to explode. They also have this strange eternal life theory. But I have a notion to end all notions. Non-smokers die. Everyday. There you have it. When I die, I will be going to Sharper Image. Iron Lungs, Oxygen Tanks, yeah, I get all the cool stuff.

But guess what, I can NEVER kill anyone while driving and smoking. But you CAN kill someone by drinking and driving. My point being, there are better drugs and better drugs for you than alcohol. In fact, if I had the choice to legalize a drug, it would not be alcohol. Sorry, nope. No way. I'd rather legalize pot. I know what you're thinking, "But Remy, alcohol is a safe drug, the government allows it...". Yeah, because it's taxed you moron! The government wants you to buy the taxed drugs to pay them. Regardless, let's look at this in a positive way. If you believe drugs have done nothing positive for us, grab all your CDs, mp3s, tapes, and records, and burn them, because the people were high when they made those songs. If they weren't, then the band is probably shitty like The New Kids on the Block.

Now, you're at a concert, and someone is being violent and aggressive. Are they more likely to be drunk or high? If you guessed drunk, you're correct. Not only would I make pot legal, I would make it mandatory. Just think, no more jerks honking their horn at you in traffic. They'd take a drag, then say something like "Oh, oops, sorry, I was taking life seriously for a second." Hey, I guess I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.